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Dear Care and Feeding,
Three weeks in the past, my neighbor’s medium-sized mutt was mauled by a free pit bull in our entrance yard. He was on a leash peeing when the opposite canine got here out of nowhere and attacked. I referred to as 911 whereas my neighbor’s canine shrieked in ache, and three adults struggled to get the attacking canine to let go for what felt like ages. Our neighbor’s canine pulled by way of, but it surely was contact and go for a couple of days there whereas he obtained a number of surgical procedures and blood transfusions. The poor pup has a zillion stitches and drains. He’s in a cone and walks with a limp. One ear is gone.
I’ve a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. Fortunately, when this occurred, my older baby was in school, and my toddler was napping with a white noise machine on. But what occurred impacts them anyway as a result of I’m so freaked out. I can’t cease fascinated with if it’d been one in every of my youngsters on the market as a substitute of my neighbor’s canine.
I haven’t let my youngsters play within the entrance yard since. I haven’t taken them to playgrounds that don’t have fencing round them. Whenever we’re exterior, I scan round us for approaching threats. I’ve began carrying pepper spray on my belt. Logically, I do know what occurred to my neighbor’s canine is uncommon and very unlikely to occur to my kids. But I can’t work out how one can cease these emotions, or no less than cease them from limiting my youngsters’ lives. How do I repair this?
—Fearful Mama
Dear Fearful Mama,
Not a lot time has handed because you witnessed this horrible occasion, so it isn’t stunning that you just’re feeling fearful and anxious consequently. What you noticed was traumatizing, and it’s not illogical for you to consider one thing like that occuring to one in every of your young children. It’s additionally not improper so that you can make sure changes in response to this expertise, similar to protecting your youngsters away from unfamiliar dogs (I believe that is typically a clever factor to do with very young ones, who don’t at all times know how one can safely have interaction with an animal) and having pepper spray in your keychain. However, as time goes on, it is best to begin to return to the actions you probably did earlier than the attack, like letting the children play within the entrance yard or visiting playgrounds with out fencing. Remind your self that these areas are typically secure and that you’re there with them, protecting a watch out for any canine (or person!) who would possibly trigger them any hurt. You can provide you with affirmations to repeat to your self when these anxious emotions begin to creep up: “My children are safe here,” “I am able to protect my kids,” “There are no loose dogs here, we are fine.” If you discover that one other month or so passes and also you’re nonetheless unable to do this stuff, you might wish to take into account speaking to a therapist. You witnessed one thing very scary and also you simply might have some assist with coming to phrases with what you noticed and the truth that it’s unlikely to occur to your kids.
—Jamilah
