It should be common sense that not paying a snake catcher isn’t wise, but it seems the obvious risk was lost on one man.
Colin Shoemark has been catching snakes in Australia since he was a child, offering up his services professionally since 2016.
Obviously, the Land Down Under is riddled with all kinds of sinister serpents that few would dare go anywhere near – which is why it’s so handy having someone like Colin at the end of the phone who can swing by and bag up any life-threatening reptiles you may have stumbled upon in your bog.
However, after bagging up a massive snake from some bloke’s kitchen, Colin was told by said bloke that he wouldn’t be paying.
That’s right, he told the man who had the huge snake in a bag – who collects dangerous snakes all the time and knows his address – that he would not be paying for the service.
Speaking on the Cancel Me Now Podcast, Colin recalled: “I caught a six-foot red belly in his kitchen and I put it in the bag, and then he started, ‘This should be free, the government should pay for that, the council should pay for that, I’m not paying you.’
“So, f**k you mate. I let the snake out, it started slithering past my feet, he was like ‘What are you doing?, I was like ‘Mate, if you’re not gonna pay me, I’m gonna leave.’
“He goes, ‘I’m gonna call the police.’ Well, call the f**king police.”
Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, Colin offered up a bit more detail about the incident, which occurred back in 2017.
“I got there and he was panicking, which is pretty standard,” he said. “It was in his kitchen, behind his fridge, so I had to pull the fridge out.
“When you catch a red-bellied black, people go, you know, it’s not that dangerous because, by nature, they want to stay away from you.
“That’s true but when they’re trapped in someone’s house, it’s a completely different animal.
“Anyway, so this thing’s trying to kill me the entire time. I get it in the bag and the dude started saying, ‘Oh, this should be free and subsidised by the government. The council should pay for this’. He kept going and going and going…”
Understandably, Colin wasn’t having this, so he decided to reacquaint the red belly with his kitchen.
Colin continued: “I didn’t like it. It was the end of the day, I was pretty tired. I said, ‘If you’re not gonna pay me, I’m just gonna go and get out of here.’
“So I let it out and it started going past my leg and he got up on the kitchen table.
“He said he was gonna call the police and I told him to go ahead because they were just gonna call me and probably come in and watch me catch the snake.
“He had the money, he was just being a d**k about it.”
Thankfully, he eventually coughed up, but let this be a lesson to all of us – always pay snake catchers for catching snakes.
