Dear Pastor,
I’m 31 years old and I’m having an issue with my husband. At the second, I’m pregnant and he isn’t paying me the eye that I feel I deserve.
He was residing within the USA and he resigned his job and got here to Jamaica and obtained married to me. We have been mates for a very long time — practically 10 years — as a result of we have been lovers since he was residing in Jamaica. He went to the USA and obtained concerned with one other girl after which he instructed me that he was going to depart that girl as a result of he couldn’t get me out of his thoughts. I requested him if he was positive that he needed to be with me and he mentioned sure.
He got here again to Jamaica and we obtained married and that’s the time he instructed me that he has two youngsters — one with this similar girl and one other lady.
One night time we have been in mattress and he mentioned he had a confession to make. I requested him what it was and he mentioned that the confession was that his different babymother is a married girl. He mentioned it shouldn’t have occurred however he went to her home to repair a leak that they’d, the lady provided him one thing to eat and drink, and after consuming and ingesting, she instructed him that she was having downside together with her husband and it was a very long time she did not have intercourse. She got here onto him and he didn’t resist her.
So they’d intercourse. But the husband thinks that the kid that she carried is his. But the lady and himself know that he’s the daddy of the kid. And the kid resembles him. But the person accepted the kid as his personal.
Pastor, if I had identified this stuff about him, I might not have married him. He has deceived me and I might by no means have allowed him to get me pregnant. Every time I consider my being pregnant, I remorse what I’m going by way of. If I had identified this stuff about him earlier, I might have had an abortion.
I’m a practising Christian, I do not fake to be one. I do not know if I can reside with this man anymore. I instructed my mom what I’m going by way of and she or he mentioned I ought to try to forgive him and handle my child. The two youngsters that he has reside within the States. The first kid’s mom is his first cousin. He mentioned he didn’t need to marry her as a result of it might not have been the correct factor for him to do, as they’re associated. I do not need to proceed residing with this man though my mom mentioned the kids should not have an effect on me.
My husband goes to the USA typically, and the way can I make certain that when he goes there he doesn’t go to these girls? How can I belief this man? After I’ve my child, I must resolve whether or not I need to stay with him. He has a very good job, however so do I. I’m happy with the money that I earn. Both of us personal the home during which we reside and we’re paying the mortgage. I do not know what to consider when he instructed me about this girl who got here on to him whereas he was working at her home. I’ve discovered my husband to be a liar.
My kin suppose that he’s such a very good man, however he’s a snake within the grass.
A.
Dear A.,
I’m sorry to listen to that this man has deceived you. In an actual sense, you may see him as a person who has destroyed your non secular life. Both of you’ve identified one another for 10 years and I’m assuming that, whereas he was residing within the United States of America, he didn’t solely name you, however he visited you infrequently.
Perhaps you thought you have been going with an ideal gentleman, however you have been so incorrect. He had a relationship together with his first cousin. How did that occur? I’m positive that he knew what he was doing. He obtained her pregnant however did not inform you. Then he obtained a married girl pregnant and didn’t inform you both.
He got here again to Jamaica and married you and obtained you pregnant, and, solely just lately, he knowledgeable you about these two youngsters. He is a deceiver and I might see why you’d discover it troublesome to reside with this man and to belief him. I might perceive why your mom is telling you that these youngsters are usually not residing in Jamaica, so they need to not have an effect on the connection you might be having along with your husband.
Your mom needs you to be blissful and she or he means effectively. She would not consider in her coronary heart what she instructed you, however she would not need you to fret. How can you actually belief a person who has a toddler together with his first cousin, and one other youngster with a married girl? I consider that, if you’re careless, after you’ve given beginning to your first youngster, if you happen to stay with him, he’ll try to get you pregnant once more.
Sometimes I inform girls what they need to do, and I make no apology for doing so, however in your case I’m simply going to make a suggestion. Try your finest to not fear over your state of affairs. Take care of your self and observe the directions out of your physician. After you’ve given beginning and you’re feeling bodily sturdy, make an appointment to see a household counsellor. I additional recommend that you’ve a chat with a lawyer regarding your marriage. Do not talk about your husband and what he has accomplished with anyone in your loved ones and even with your pals. Ask your mom to not say something to anybody about your relationship with him. That is all I need to say proper now.
Pastor
