The world is filled with peril. Shortly earlier than Christmas, a 48-year-old man, Boljulio Aleria, was driving his bike within the Philippines when a 10ft python got here out of the jungle, twisted itself round his physique and sank its enamel into his wrist.
‘I assumed I used to be going to die if I did not combat again,’ recalled Mr Aleria. ‘And I assumed that my solely probability was to chew its neck so it could loosen slightly bit. I bit till its pores and skin peeled off. And when the pores and skin peeled off, I bit on its flesh. It was solely then that it loosened.’
Mr Aleria managed to get to hospital rapidly and is recovering at home on a course of antibiotics.
The identical can’t be stated for the python — it was reduce up into manageable chunks, grilled on an open hearth and served piping scorching with a alternative of greens.
Python for Christmas dinner could appear uncommon, significantly to these of us extra used to turkey or goose, however it’s completely regular to tuck into python within the Philippines. As a dish, it’s stated to match properly with hen or pork.
Even higher, a 10ft python is sufficient for a banquet. Who is aware of? Perhaps an enterprising firm corresponding to KFC would possibly consider serving it with French fries. If all goes properly, inside a couple of years they could have to alter their title to KFP.
Over the previous few many years, we British have develop into far more adventurous with our consuming. In my youth, the prawn cocktail was innovative.
The first time I ever noticed an avocado on a desk, on the age of 20, all of us circled round it very warily, as if it have been an alien which may sprout legs with out warning and scuttle off like a hedgehog.
Back then, potato crisps have been both prepared salted, cheese and onion or salt and vinegar. Life began getting extra difficult with the introduction of smoky bacon and roast hen.
Some traces have been tried after which dropped. For occasion, Walkers introduced out baked bean flavoured crisps, however they did not catch on.
Five years in the past, a web based petition was launched to carry them again. The petitioners set a modest goal of 100 signatures, however solely managed to get 56. It now looks like a misplaced trigger. Perhaps they need to marketing campaign for crisp-flavoured baked beans as a substitute?
These days, looking for a packet of crisps is so filled with potentialities that it brings again all of the horrors of confronting a multiple-choice examination paper for GCSE.
These are simply a number of the crisp flavours now on the grocery store cabinets: camembert, honey and rosemary, beef and crimson wine gravy, crinkle reduce steak and onion chutney, turkey tikka masala, spicy chorizo and turkey, and duck and spiced plum (‘deliciously wealthy and fruity’).
The additional east you go, the extra outlandish the crisp flavours. In Korea, they’ve yoghurt-flavoured crisps, and in Japan even cola crisps. Whatever subsequent? Ice cream crisps? Peanut crisps?
Around the nook from us, a brand new Chinese grocery store shares all types of latest and strange crisp flavours.
The final time I went there, I purchased a packet of roasted fish crisps and a packet of roasted garlic oyster crisps. Both have a barely dodgy aftertaste. In a blind tasting, you would possibly guess that one was smoky cod liver oil and the opposite brake fluid with a touch of garlic.
But who cares? The attraction of crisps lies not of their style however of their texture, which creates firework noises inside your mouth.
There can also be one thing interesting in regards to the sheer amount of them. As the U.S. comedian Mitch Hedberg as soon as stated of rice: ‘It’s nice in the event you’re actually hungry and also you wish to eat two thousand of one thing.’
Popular although python is within the Philippines, I be aware that there are nonetheless no python crisps available over there, regardless that they might slice simply.
Perhaps the native crisp firms are too nervous to farm them. And so they need to be. I’ve a good friend who stored a pet python. After a yr or two, she talked about to the vet that her python had taken to mendacity alongside her, stretched to his fullest size.
‘He’s measuring you,’ he replied.
