Given the velocity at which the information cycle is shifting lately, it could be not possible for a late-night host to take a two-week trip and never miss some fairly main tales, like a former president dozing off throughout a sure, historic felony hush-money trial—and greater than as soon as.
It’s a lesson Seth Meyers discovered the laborious manner this month, however he was again with a vengeance on Monday and able to recap all of the wildest information tales he missed. While Donald Trump’s courtroom siestas had been an apparent matter of dialog for the Late Night host to make amends for, he was rather more all for—and outraged by—Kristi Noem’s weird determination to write down in regards to the time she murdered her puppy.
In a brand new memoir, aptly titled No Going Back (which doubtless sums up her possibilities of being named Trump’s operating mate), the South Dakota governor described the 14-month-old wirehaired pointer named Cricket as “untrainable,” “less than worthless… as a hunting dog,” and “dangerous to anyone she came into contact with.”
“I hated that dog,” wrote Noem, who appeared proud to clarify how she shot and killed the pup.
“She thought telling that story would make her look cool,” Meyers marveled. “What’s going on? Does she think cats can vote? And even if they could, those lazy sons of bitches aren’t going to wait in line at a high school for three hours.”
Still, Meyers couldn’t wrap his head round any of the logic behind Noem’s chilling admission. “It’s horrible enough to kill a dog, but even crazier to brag about it,” he mentioned. “That’s a level of psycho I didn’t even know existed. Even Buffalo Bill [from The Silence of the Lambs] had the self-awareness to keep his abhorrent behavior indoors. He didn’t walk around town saying, ‘Hey, check out my new outfit. It’s a skin suit!’”
Meyers appeared not sure about whether or not to snigger or scream at Noem’s try and seemingly walk again the small print of her canicide by taking to X (previously Twitter) to explain that “tough decisions like this happen all the time on a farm,” whereas sharing that she simply needed to “put down 3 horses a few weeks ago.”
“Way to change the narrative,” mentioned Meyers, mockingly. “‘Yeah, I killed a dog. But in my defense: also, three horses.’”
“Sleep with your eyes open, donkey,” Meyers warned.
