SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Spouses Josh and Natasha Taylor are supposedly in a losing fight for control of their sex swing — a purchase made to enliven their intimacy that has slowly end up being an environment for their cat Danzig, exacerbated sources verified.
“It’s annoying. I set up the swing for Nat on our eighth anniversary, and within ten minutes it was covered in cat fur. It’s tough to get in the mood when you spend most of the time for foreplay lint rolling the hell out of the swing,” said Mr. Taylor. “We ended up using it a couple times that week. It was fun I guess, but it was pretty distracting with Ziggy staring, talking to us, and trying to jump onto the seat every five seconds. I think he thinks it’s a game, but I wish he’d use that fucking cat tree we got him.”
The couple reports installing pressure to recover the swing for themselves prior to the cat makes it an irreversible home.
“It’s kind of taken the spontaneity out of using it, but Josh says we should show dominance and mark the swing as our territory,” said Mrs. Taylor while trying to get rid of some collected hair and dander from the INTIMIX 600™ with an unique family pet hair vacuum. “It’s really sweet that he even bought it — we saw a couple playing with one when we were watching ‘Love Island’ and I off-handedly said it looked fun. I didn’t even think he was listening.”
“I think Zig likes it more than I do, though,” Taylor went on. “It kind of hurts my back and our two usual positions work fine for me, to be honest.”
Sex and intimacy professional Ayo Diallo kept in mind that items couples purchase to help in love frequently end up being the ownerships of their household animals.
“Bringing toys and accessories into the bedroom can be great, but it’s really just a way to get couples talking about what they like more than it’s about repeated use,” Diallo said. “My partner and I got one of those wedge pillows — we used it a few times, but these days our chihuahua climbs up it to get on the couch. Now if I’m going to do doggy, I just stretch first.”
At press time, the Taylors revealed strategies to repurpose a riding crop they bought on Valentine’s Day 2018 into a wand toy.
