DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 38 years. It has been a contented marriage for essentially the most half; we hardly ever disagree or argue. The drawback is, his dad and mom are each very sick. His mother has Alzheimer’s, and his father was simply recognized with stage-4 most cancers — he’ll most likely die inside six months.
My husband desires us to promote our home and transfer in together with his dad and mom. He says that approach we are able to maintain them each with the caregivers who’re there a lot of the day. He works full time and says the burden will largely fall on me. Should I conform to this?
We are empty nesters, so it will have an effect on nobody however my husband and me. I’m leaning towards sure. But my husband has two sisters and a brother, and I’ll be doing one thing these others will not do for his or her dad and mom. I’ve already taken care of my dad and mom in addition to a sick brother and buried all of them. I’ve no household left. Please, give me some recommendation. — DONE THIS BEFORE IN TEXAS
DEAR DONE THIS: Much more dialogue must take place earlier than you conform to this or not. As you acknowledged, your husband has siblings. How a lot accountability are they keen to take financially, if not with hands-on caregiving?
Your father-in-law might stay longer than six months, changing into more and more dependent upon bodily care. When he is gone, your mother-in-law’s psychological well being will diminish, and she’s going to grow to be more and more helpless till her demise. People have been identified to endure with Alzheimer’s for a lot of years. If you promote your home and transfer in with the in-laws, you might have some money, however you should have no freedom — and, if this proves to be an excessive amount of for you, it’s possible you’ll really feel trapped.
Having completed this in your dad and mom and brother, you realize what you can be dealing with. Do not permit your self to be railroaded or guilted into shouldering this accountability. If you will have a trusted good friend or adviser — a health care provider, lawyer or clergyperson — run this situation by them. Do nothing till you will have thought this via.
