Maggie is the continuous in my life. As I have actually endured those 19 years, and the days that have actually been the making of me, she’s existed. Her warm, silky body pushed into me (she oversleeps my arms every night), her unblinking look monitoring me. She’s seen the dancing-in-the-kitchen and laughing-on-the-phone minutes. The dull in-between minutes and the wailing-into-the-mattress minutes.
Packing
And in the long nights when I can’t sleep, when stress and anxiety has my heart racing in the dark, there she is. The density of her fur, the noise of her purr, the mild weight of her– all of it grounding me and bringing me back to this present minute. Our hearts beating together, co-regulating, soothing me. Actually mindfulness in my arms. What will I do without her?
These 19 years that hold the shaping of me. The birth, parenting, working and developing. The hope, and loss, and back to hope once again. The railing and stopping working and all of the sensations. Maggie has actually been the observer of all of it. The keeper of our lives.
This is the magic of a household animal. Just they see us in our most personal minutes. We are complimentary to be, without judgment or embarassment, and we are not alone. Our animals exist, fulfilling our highs and extremely dark lows, holding the area for us where feelings can stream.
What an extremely excellent present it is to be an animal’s unique individual. To like them, and have their love in return. To have them as a warm location to land at the end of a day, or a factor to rally as the sun turns up. And to bring their story in our own folklore.
As Maggie drifts through her golden years, her life has actually gladly diminished to a smaller sized variation of itself. She’s content with 2 1/2 spaces and a warm terrace. I’m knowingly appreciative for every single minute we share. I’ll be permanently altered by her. Gladly, a Cat Individual. Gratefully, Maggie’s Cat Individual.
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