Editor’s note: If you or somebody you understand remains in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or call the Crisis Text Line by texting talk with 741741.
FARGO — Jayde Pickar rubbed his cat’s head with ringed fingers. The black cat, called Adon;s, purred, burrowing his head versus Pickar’s chest prior to searching for at his 28-year-old owner, as if he understood the semicolon in his name was something unique.
“The semicolon. It’s a symbol for people who struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide. The semicolon is where the story stops but can continue on after the semicolon,” said Pickar, a veteran now homeless after years of working more than 70 hours a week. “It’s like you’ve been at that point, but you decided to keep going with life.”
Pickar has never attempted suicide, he said, but the thought has crossed his mind. Family, and his cat Adon;s — pronounced Adonis — and dreams of traveling the world keep him from that dark precipice.
“Any time I have a cat, I make sure their name has an ‘i’ in it so I can change the ‘i’ to a semicolon,” Pickar said.
Adorned with a cerulean locket he made, piercings and rings, Pickar revealed a photo of a tattoo of his cat that is on his back prior to speaking about how among his pals passed away by suicide his senior year in high school.
“I still think about it every day. The day it happened, she was dropped off at school by her mom, and then she left the school. And as I was leaving my house, I saw her walking toward a gas station. Then a few hours later, they called us in and told us there had been an accident,” Pickar said.
“And I can’t help but wonder (what would have happened) if I had only talked to her,” he said.
Four days out of high school, Pickar signed up with the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve and later on served near Minneapolis as an airplane firemen, concentrating on battling particular airplane crashes. At the very same time, he worked 70 to 80 hours weekly in locations like McDonald’s, Walmart, gasoline station, an egg business, a sheet metal business, a commercial freezer, The Forum in Detroit Lakes, landscaping and at a commercial painting business.
“I’ve been doing that for the last six or seven years — I’m always working. I don’t know if it’s a necessity; I just don’t like sitting at home. I don’t like going out and spending money, but my luck isn’t the greatest,” Pickar said.
C.S. Hagen / The Forum
“I love black cats, and I know they say black cats bring bad luck. Yes, I’ve had bad luck in my life, but I wouldn’t have made it without him,” he said. Adon;s tucked his head into Pickar’s arm as if humiliated of the attention.
No matter the number of hours Pickar worked, nevertheless, he couldn’t make ends fulfill. In May this year, a disaster struck in the form of mold growing in his house. He informed management about the problem, however the mold was not repaired.
Then, he discovered blood in his cat’s stool, and he was required with an option: pay lease or spend for his cat’s medical costs.
Having him in my life has actually suggested whatever to me.
Jayde Pickar, of his cat Adon;s
It was very little of an option for Pickar after he explained how Adon;s supported his side throughout 2 months of back injury and surgical treatment in 2017.
“After my back popped, he did not leave me alone. He was always laying with me, purring, and I read online that cats will purr to help you heal,” Pickar said.
He came close to tears explaining the situation, stating he has actually had 4 pals who have actually killed themselves. Adon;s appears to comprehend his sorrow.
“Having him in my life has meant everything to me,” Pickar said.
Now, Pickar is technically homeless. He was tossed out of his house and is remaining 4 days a week at the Biltmore Hotel on Main Avenue, where he works as a server. The staying days, he copes with his mom. He’s searching for more work and for a brand-new house so he can put his life back together.
Despite his obstacles, he deals with a smile. Recently, a consumer composed management a note applauding his good mindset and service.
C.S. Hagen / The Forum
“116 wanted to give compliments to Jade (Jayde). Said he was very pleasant and it was refreshing to have a waiter that was so upbeat and happy and didn’t complain,” the note from Room 116 said.
“Things being more expensive has made it hard, and working in North Dakota as a server, we rely on tips, so I provide the best experience, not so I get a nice tip, but mostly for the people to come back,” Pickar said.
The minimum per hour wage for tipped workers in North Dakota is $4.86,
according to the state Department of Labor.
“I’m just trying to get money saved up so I can build my credit. I’ve started applying at other apartments, but I keep getting denied, so right now I am just trying to pay things off and get caught up so I can find somewhere to live,” Pickar said.
“Technically, I am homeless. I am lucky that my mom has a house where I can stay for a couple of days, and the hotel is nice to give me a discount,” he said.
Until he can discover a brand-new house, Pickar discovers solace in Adon;s.
“He cuddles with me every night, and he’s there when I wake up in the morning with him looking at me,” Pickar said.
The differed experiences, the work principles he found out maturing in Nimrod, Minnesota, becomes part of his secret dealing with a room filled with drinkers. Although he participated in college to study accounting, he has actually found serving is a job he delights in.
Rob Zastre, basic supervisor of Biltmore Hotel and Suites and O’Kelly’s Bar and Grill, said Pickar is an “upstanding person” which he wants his “work principles and compassion was more infectious.”
Since youth, Pickar’s dream has actually been to take part in the reality competitors tv program “Survivor.”
“I’ve continued to push myself through life, and with my back the way it is, and even if I have to medevac in the middle of the show, the chance to live my childhood dream would be 1,000% worth it,” Pickar said.
For now, he will concentrate on repairing his credit and making certain he serves “one table at a time” the very best method he understands how.
He gets a kick out of the easy things, like when the Northern Lights are out completely color, he puts a collar on his black cat and heads out to see, grateful to have a furry friend at his side.
“My cat, he’s doing better. He’s been my rock for the last six years. Having a cat around for me is just like having a best friend that is constantly there for me, and I can take him anywhere,” Pickar said.
