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Completely Not Pretend News: The Houston Texans, probably the most fascinating protection on this planet

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HOUSTON – There are unusual instances within the metropolis of Houston. After the crew held on towards Arizona for its third straight win and 4th straight home win, the crew stands at 6-4…a document not seen in 4 years. The angst concerning the previous and the psychological block of not acknowledging the crew seems diminished. However, the cardiology and emergency surgical procedure wing of MD Anderson and surrounding hospitals are in disaster mode.



“We warned you. We warned you, but oh no, did you listen to us, the medical expert? Nope! No you did not! You just had to let people watch the Texans without the requisite warnings. We have been stretched thin this decade, but now you add this, with the Houston Texans playing their 6th straight game where the game came down to the final 2 minutes!!! Dear [KITTEN], the nurses and doctors unions are about to walk out. The stress…please, someone, help us!!!”

A medical practitioner lamented, however some others felt in another way, like this political-type determine:

“Oh, you know those medical types. Always whining, always complaining. No, it will be fine. Besides, the fans are used to tense games. Houston does have the Astros. True, they may not be used to high stress levels after early November, but we are stronger than those medical experts think. Besides, if we want to wreck our hearts and blow out all the blood pressure machines within a 50 miles radius of the viewing area, that is our [DURGA]-given, Constitutional right. Just like Sam Houston, George Washington and Bum Phillips intended.”

While that debate is occurring, what is just not up for debate is that on this most recent sport, it was not the latest hero of the town CJ Stroud that led the crew to the late victory, however the protection. Perhaps it’s bit early to affiliate the protection with a nickname, ala the “No Name”, “Steel Curtain”, “Doomsday” and even the “New York Sack Exchange”. Yet, are the Texans’ in line for their very own defensive moniker?

In the phrases of Texans CEO Cal McNair:

“You can’t deny that this team makes it real interesting in the late stages of a game. Especially if you look at our young defense. They always seem to be right in the thick of the drama. Whether they are trying to hold on for dear life, bending but not quite breaking…or actually, breaking, but breaking early enough to get the ball to CJ Stroud, who I am so glad we drafted, not that we told the team they had to draft them, but we also didn’t not tell the team to not draft CJ Stroud, but we are glad they did, even when we clearly did not not tell them to not draft…”

[Editor note: For the sake of clarity, we went ahead and cut off the interview at this point.]

Setting that apart, many did echo the emotions about this protection. “They make things very interesting, especially in the 4th quarter” was fairly a standard chorus. Some others additionally famous:

  • “Please [DURGA], hold the lead for once in your [KITTEN]ing lives!!!”
  • “Why does this defense always do this to me! Especially when I bet the mortgage on a FanDuel bet???”
  • “Ah mother[KITTEN]!, they have to make it ‘interesting’ again, don’t they? Can’t win in a [KITTENING] blowout like they are supposed to, aren’t they?”
  • “Have you donated to our campaign yet? We really need your contributions to defeat..”

So it goes. but, for this crew, a reputation hasn’t emerged, a minimum of contained in the crew partitions.

“Nickname???” You loopy? If any of our folks even thought of that, Coach DeMeco would Super-punch us to [KITTEN], or commerce us to Carolina.” Noted rookie Will Anderson, Jr.

Yet, with the protection lead by Matt Burke, regarded in some circles as probably the most Interesting Defensive Coordinator within the World, maybe it’s time to anoint the Texans protection with a brand new label: The Most Interesting Defense within the World.

How are they probably the most Interesting Defense within the World:

  • They have performed eight straight video games holding the lead on the 2 minute warning within the 4th quarter
  • They have surrendered factors within the ultimate minute in 4 of these video games.
  • They let Bryce Young get his first win as a beginning quarterback
  • They did handle to depart a minimum of 46 seconds to CJ Stroud to make a game-winning drive in two of these video games.
  • They are additionally recognized to run a stop protection whereas participating in blitzing.
  • They wrestle with 4th and quick and third and 23s.

Still, even with all of those adventures, the crew by some means doesn’t appear upset.

Noted Defensive Coordinator Matt Burke:

“Hey, it’s all about the drama. I mean, it was great when we blasted Jacksonville and Pittsburgh by a combined 30 points, but multi-score blowouts…that just takes the drama out of everything. Besides, boring blowouts…not a lot of great training opportunities. Close games, to include some heart-stopping end-of-game action…that makes for some wonderful film sessions during the week.”

Lamented Head Coach DeMeco Ryans:

“I could do with less overall drama, but what can you do? Can’t DDT EVERY single defensive player that misses a tackle. We’d be out of defensive players.”

“Don’t look at me. I got the team a great defensive pass rushing specialist…and some good defensive talents. That’s all on the coaching staff.” GM Nick Caserio famous, who then rapidly added “I mean, the defensive staff, not the head coach. Clearly not the head coach.” Probably a coincidence that Coach Ryans was walking by.

Yet, even the offense did handle to present the protection some credit score.

From QB CJ Stroud:

“Look, I know that I’ve had to bail out the defense the last few weeks. Winning it after they let the lead slip. Couldn’t do much about Atlanta or Carolina, but I didn’t get the ball back. Still, I must admit, it was a little refreshing to see the defense actually hold on to a lead in the end. Yeah, I didn’t have a great second half, but give me that last possession…the other 58+minutes don’t matter.”

Will the Most Interesting Defense within the World proceed to stay as much as their billing? We will get an opportunity to seek out out fast, because the division-leading Jacksonville Jaguars come to city in what many regard as the most important NFL sport at NRG in years. Might even match final 12 months’s highschool playoff depth.

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