In final week’s publication (which you’ll be able to join right here when you like jokes and tales about nothing), I wrote about cats and the way it’s like a contest between cat homeowners to see who may give their pet the silliest identify.
I’ve met a cat named Dracula, two cat’s named Batman, and I as soon as had a cat named Furgazi. ‘Ha-ha,’ I laughed (typed), ‘What cats with humorous names do you assholes know?’ Then I remembered you don’t like being known as assholes and wrote ‘Ha-ha. What cats with humorous names do you wankers know?’ The response was nothing wanting common. Right here’s what you mentioned!
Ryan Cremer (no fastened deal with) began his electronic mail to us with the topic line: Cat Names (if I had cats) after which he went on to listing the next cat names: ‘Chairman Meow’, ‘Mr. Meow-gy’, ‘Cat Damon’,  and ‘Bert’. Wonderful work, Ryan, though skilled skateboarder Jerry Hsu beat you to Chairman Meow. Nonetheless, as I perceive it, the Chairman has gone to kitty heaven (or hell, relying on how naughty he was), in order that identify is out there must you resolve to spend money on a feline buddy—and we suggest you do. They’re fucking ridiculous.
Subsequent up was died-in-the-wool Floridian Tobin Inexperienced, who had this to say with regards to cat names:
My buddy Conrad has two cats. Bruce Wayne and Jean-Claude Van Damme. True story. I’ve no photographs but it surely’s as true as Ron DeSantis’s double chin. And my spouse Bianca and I named our avenue cat Jamie. Made sense on the time as a result of till he confirmed up on our again patio with an enormous gash on his head and B trapped him and took him to the vet for repairs, we didn’t know whether or not he was really a he or a she. Jamie. Savage little fella. As soon as watched him stalk and homicide a squirrel in broad daylight. My canine Jellie and I ran off horrified solely to return house from our stroll to seek out your entire furry corpse left on our entrance doorstep for us as a present. Decapitated. All information.
Eager Monster Kids electronic mail reader Amy Parks (who can also be from Florida) named her cat John Ranger. ‘Hello,’ She mentioned in an digital missive from The Orange State. ‘That is John Ranger, the cat of the wild west. He’s an orange tabby and is in Jacksonville, FL. Coolest cat ever. Like a canine, likes to play soccer w/ foil rolled right into a ball. Thanks!’ Included in her electronic mail was the image of her cat ingesting vodka beneath. Do you will have a cat? Would you prefer it to be on the web for all to see and revel in? Ship particulars, cat photographs and any nudes you will have laying round to: editorial@monsterchildren.com
