While she insisted that she “doesn’t blame” McFadden for leaving her, after he first cheated on her on his stag do, “the trust had just gone”.
The Atomic Kitten star (42) met Westlife singer Brian (43) in 1999 they usually had been married three years later.
Brian – who shares daughters Molly (21) and Lilly-Sue (20) with Kerry later admitted dishonest on his wife-to-be on the night time of his stag with a lap dancer.
After the couple cut up in 2006, Kerry stated the singer’s infidelity triggered childhood trauma that stemmed from looking for approval from her mom Sue, who suffered with psychological well being points, and spending time in foster houses.
Speaking on Slingo’s Getting Lippy Gossip Show alongside host Emma Conybeare and MailOnline’s Rebecca Lawrence, Kerry stated: “There are lessons to learn. Brian leaving me I can’t blame Brian.
Kerry and Brian
“You can’t force somebody to love you if someone falls out of love with you. It took me a long time to get over this but if somebody doesn’t want to be with you can’t force them to stay with you and Brian didn’t want to be with me.
“I think after he first cheated on me on his stag do you know the trust had just gone.
“But now I analyse things that was a trigger for me when Brian left me because it was like me mum always tried to leave me.”
She said that when she met Brian, “he kind of took me away from that and I went to live in Ireland, I got pregnant and I got away from all.
“I didn’t want to be rich and famous I wanted to be a woman in love so desperately, I wanted that family unity, and that’s what I realised I kept putting on my kids every time I got with a man because I thought they can’t have a broken home.”
Kerry has beforehand spoken in regards to the trauma of dwelling along with her manic-depressive mum and the way she was put in a foster home when she was simply 13.
Speaking about Brian, she added: “I loved him being on stage and I trusted him with my life. It was a massive turn on to know that man comes home with me and I loved it, wasn’t jealous in the slightest.
“But then once he did cheat and he was like, ‘please give it another go I’m sorry’. I’m like “I’m gonna end up resenting you because I’m going to want to know where you are who you with who you’re texting you yeah and that’s not who I am’.
“It was never the same again.”
She is now engaged to health coach Ryan Mahoney, who she has been courting for 5 years.
After Brian, she went on to marry second husband Mark Croft in 2007 with whom she had daughter Heidi (16) and son Maxwell (15).
After they cut up in 2011, she was married to the late George Kay from 2014 to 2017 they usually had daughter Dylan-Jorge, 9.
Kerry
Speaking about her love life, Kerry defined: “You have three loves in your life. It was Brian – Mark should’ve been a one night stand – I was desperately in love with George and Ryan’s now the one I’m going to die with. Ryan is the most beautiful caring soul you will ever meet in your life.
“I know my kids have got daddy issues I get that because I got daddy issues but it took me to the age of 36 to go I’m enough for my kids. I wanted to have a dad and I never got to meet my dad unfortunately.
“Cinderella and Disney princesses always a knight in shining armour and I’ve always got a t****r in tin foil!’
She also revealed she’s open to the idea of having more children.
“I’m 42, and if I was to get pregnant which I’m not trying to, but it’d be miracle and I’d go along with it but I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
“I am probably to get my eggs frozen and we will probably just p**s off to Vegas with the children to get married because Ryan’s not a showboat bloke.
“We’ve been together for five years, engaged for three, normally at this point I’m talking to divorce lawyers and I’ve popped a few sprogs out.”
