ERROL PARKER| Editor-at-large|Contact
A city employee delighting in a sandwich in Machattie Park today saw some bastard’s cat consuming a bird, something he states on closer examination wasn’t as bad as individuals reckon.
” I believe it may’ve really been a feral cat,” stated Dale Clarke, a spiritually-destitute marketing specialist.
He sat at the other end of the tables near the River Street gates and informed our press reporter to what was decreasing.
” And the bird, I believe it was a myna bird. So yeah, does that mean that they cancel each other out today? Generally, you ‘d see a feral cat consuming something great like a pleasant galah or a good bird with lots of Australian flair like a cockatoo or willy wagtail. Then other times, you see lads from high school sending out images on Snapchat of all the foxes and feral felines they shoot through the brain and you simply sort of shrug.”
Our press reporter nodded and took a bite of their cold beef sausage, which was tastefully drowning in ETA Bbq Sauce.
” Like, it’s not like you wish to see that sort of things however since it’s a feral cat, it’s not that bad. Like one time, I was driving house from a mate’s location late during the night with my ex-girlfriend when we came near a crest on the roadway and this cat with there simply resting on the roadway. I might see lights coming by the hill so I could not go round it, so I simply beeped couple of times then we both heard the sickly ‘denting’ of cat skull striking the bottom of the 4-poster which was that. Like, if it was a dog, then sure. It ‘d be unfortunate. If it was a wild dog, still most likely bad however no one likes a feral cat. Well, my ex did and she was off me huge time after that,” he stated.
” However yeah, hi. Fuck feral felines.”
More to come.
