| Venue: Satisfaction Park Date: Monday, 30 January Kick-off: 19:45 GMT |
| Protection: Commentary on BBC Radio 5 Stay; stay textual content and watch highlights on BBC Sport web site & app |
“I’ve a photograph of Dad by the aspect of my mattress,” says Max Bird. “He is in a Manchester United shirt and we’re on vacation. At evening, earlier than I fall asleep, I speak to him.”
On 24 February 2019, the Derby County midfielder misplaced his 45-year-old father to a mix of pneumonia and sepsis.
Eight hours after Andrew handed away, Bird captained the Rams to an 8-1 win over Bristol City in an under-23 cup fixture at Loughborough College Stadium. He was 18 on the time.
“Dad would have been raging had I not performed that day,” Bird, 22, tells BBC Sport. “I wanted to play soccer. It will have eaten away at me extra had I missed the match.”
As League One Derby put together to host Premier League West Ham within the fourth spherical of the FA Cup on Monday (19:45 GMT), Bird opens up on how soccer has helped him address bereavement, grief and loss.
“At one stage Dad was doing properly in hospital,” he provides. “He was preventing and preventing for 2 weeks. Then there was a sluggish deterioration.
“I can’t put into phrases what it was like.”
‘So pleased with you’
In Bird’s home is a video games room and in it hangs a framed white shirt with the quantity 13 on it. It’s the one his dad wore when taking part in basketball for England at youth stage.
Andrew, who was 6ft 7in tall, handed up the prospect to go to america and play basketball whereas finding out.
“He was all the time on at me as a result of he had missed his alternative and did not need to see my expertise go to waste,” provides Bird, who grew up watching Manchester United together with his dad at Outdated Trafford.
As season ticket holders, the pair would journey from Burton, Staffordshire, to look at Rio Ferdinand, Paul Scholes and Wayne Rooney propel Sir Alex Ferguson’s aspect in the direction of a Premier League and Champions League double in 2007-08.
Bird, who was seven on the time, remembers one recreation particularly that season, which they watched collectively at Outdated Trafford.
“I keep in mind crying when the groups got here out for the Champions League semi-final with Barcelona as a result of it was the most effective environment I had ever witnessed,” he says.
“I used to be a season ticket holder from the age of six to about 11. The quantity of stuff I discovered from simply sitting there, I used to be glued to the video games.
“On the best way home we would dissect the match collectively and speak about who had performed properly and who hadn’t.”
Andrew, described as a “gentle giant” who dedicated his life to education, watched his son flourish at Derby’s academy and would publish messages on social media charting his progress.
Two months earlier than he died, Andrew wrote on Twitter: “So pleased with you mate – keep centered and humble, then there may be a lot extra to come back!” He had simply seen his son make his first league look for the Rams on the age of 18.
“If I had a nasty recreation he’d inform me and if I had an excellent recreation he’d shake my hand and say ‘now go and do it once more’,” provides Bird.
“He drilled it into me I needed to be the most effective each week. He’d say issues like ‘by no means be glad, all the time need extra’.
“It wasn’t all the time soccer stuff. He’d inform me be an excellent individual and say ‘take care of your mum and your brother’. He’d be on to me about being a frontrunner.
“He’d say to me ‘you are going to play for England’ on a regular basis. ‘Consider in your self… you are going to play for England.'”
‘I performed hours after dad handed away’
It was between 4am and 5am when Andrew died within the Queen’s Hospital, Burton. Bird, who was asleep in a room on the hospital, was woken and informed the information.
After spending a while alone together with his father, he rang his Derby academy supervisor Darren Wassall to inform him the information and that he nonetheless wished to play towards Bristol Metropolis later that day.
“Darren requested ‘are you certain?’,” says Bird. “Dad would have wished me to play. Once I was rising up, each time I used to be upset I might go and kick a soccer and run after it.”
On the sport itself, he provides: “I might had about 4 hours’ sleep and I used to be consuming jelly infants to attempt to give myself an power enhance.
“I noticed Darren and Pat [Lyons, academy coach] earlier than the sport and cried my eyes out to them. I then went into the dressing room and tried to be myself. It is one of many hardest issues I’ve ever carried out.”
It was solely after the Premier League Cup tie that Bird informed his team-mates his dad had died.
‘I lock myself away and let all of it out’
Bird by no means received the prospect to inform his dad he liked him as he lay in a coma in hospital.
“I inform my brother, Charles, I like him daily due to that,” he says. “He is my finest mate, we’ve a extremely tight relationship.
“My mum, Lisa, lives near me. We get pleasure from every day because it comes due to what occurred. We by no means take something with no consideration.”
Bird is filled with reward for Frank Lampard, Derby’s supervisor on the time of Andrew’s dying, for the best way he dealt with the scenario.
“He rang my mum, he rang my brother. We performed Aston Villa within the Championship six days after my dad handed and we misplaced 4-0.
“Frank got here into the dressing room after the sport and mentioned ‘you might be all pants other than one participant’. He pointed at me. He was like, ‘he is simply misplaced his dad and he can do that’.”
It’s approaching the fourth anniversary of Andrew’s dying.
“I’ve discovered to take care of it in several methods,” Bird says. “I speak to him. Earlier than every recreation I take some time to suppose what he desires from me.
“My manner of coping with it’s locking myself away, letting all of it out after which having amusing with my mates. My dad knew all my mates and used to hitch in with us and be an enormous child.”
Since dropping his dad, Bird has established himself in Derby’s first staff and captained the Rams towards Liverpool at Anfield within the Carabao Cup earlier this season. He has additionally performed alongside Rooney, who he idolised as a younger Manchester United fan.
What recommendation would his dad give him earlier than dealing with West Ham within the FA Cup?
“He’d inform me to exit and present them I belong on this stage,” says Bird.
In case you, or somebody you understand, have been affected by any points raised on this article, help and knowledge is offered at BBC Motion Line.
