NEW YORK CITY– A bird trying to consume a worm previously today was definitely blown away after it tossed a pitch best Banana Bomb in self-defense, sources have actually verified.
” That was among the strangest things I ever saw,” stated Lisa Townsend, who was out running when she saw the violent occurrence. “This bird was walking around consuming worms, absolutely nothing too strange there, simply sort of gross. This is where you’re going to believe I’m shitting you, however this one worm began hopping up on some sticks and after that he tossed a small little blowing up banana thing and and simply blew the bird all to hell! I swear I’m informing the reality. And all right, do not leave, however do you understand what occurred next? The little motherfucker stated ‘righty-o,’ in a British accent.”
” The park is too strange,” she included. “I’m simply gon na purchase a treadmill I believe.”
A city sanitation employee tidying up the remains of the bird appeared to validate what the witness reported.
” Oh yeah, you will not think the shit I have actually seen these worms do to each other,” stated park worker Clark Rutherford, as he cleaned up the small killing ground. “Individuals do not understand the violence that is occurring on an actual ground level out here. Not to perpetuate any damaging stereotypes, however you wish to beware if you ever concern New york city City, it threatens. And it’s not even individuals. It’s the worms. They have land minds and Uzis and shit. I imply, look what they did to this bad bird.”
Reports of habits right out of the popular Worms computer game franchise captured designers by surprise.
” That is extremely odd, are you sure that’s all occurring?” asked Andy Davidson, developer of the popular strategies based multiplayer video games. “ Worms was simply our ridiculous twist on a weapons video game, we swear. We didn’t take our microscopic lens to Central Park and end up being mindful of a generations-long fight in between warring factions of worms of various ethnic backgrounds, truthfully. Swear to god. That resembles, very not what occurred. Hi, appearance, we’ll respond to any and all concerns you have about this.”
Since press time, a localized airstrike had actually quickly ended the interview with Davidson.
