NEW YORK CITY—Following a top in which almost 10,000 feathered types collected to identify their action to what they referred to as hostile attacks into the sky, leading bird leaders launched a main declaration Tuesday safeguarding their option to shoot down an airplane that unlawfully went into bird airspace. “When this airborne vessel crossed into the internationally recognized bird domain and failed to comply with our tweets and squawks, we had no choice but to neutralize the potential threat,” said Avian Republic Ambassador Terrence G. Beakfeathers, who required a minute of silence to honor the flock of skylarks that provided their lives by flying into the engine of an Airbus A380, reducing the aircraft he declared had actually trespassed on the sky. “For centuries, we turned the other cheek even as millions of our brethren were felled by your misleadingly transparent windowpanes. But now, with the blatant provocation of 100,000 commercial flights per day entering our rightful territory, we have no choice but to meet these encroachments with immediate and overwhelming force. The intrusion into our airspace of planes, helicopters, missiles, and even balloons will no longer be tolerated.” At press time, tactical talks amongst the birds had actually broken down, with disagreements appearing amongst the 2 generally opposed factions represented by hawks and doves.
