Dear Amy: I’ve a daughter in highschool. She is beautiful, common, does effectively in class, and excels at soccer (she performs on a regional journey crew).
It is tough for her mom and I to know why she appears to have low shallowness. She could be very onerous on herself and generally appears consumed by doubt.
We’re fascinated about any suggestions you may need.
– Concerned Parents
Dear Concerned: Take this in: Being stunning, common, sensible, and high-achieving doesn’t inoculate anybody in opposition to despair, anxiousness, a temper dysfunction, or crushing doubt. Look to any variety of gifted athletes for examples.
An individual’s mind appears to run independently from all of those exterior blessings. And your high-achieving and perfectionist teen is weak.
I just lately watched a documentary that includes prime ranked Spanish tennis participant Paula Badosa, who has been open about her psychological well being struggles.
During a very robust match, the documentary reveals her assembly together with her coach and speaking about her present alarming psychological state, when he says one thing extraordinary: “When you feel this way, you need to stop and walk away.”
Basically, he was giving her permission and encouragement to place her psychological well being first. Surely that is extraordinarily onerous for a troublesome competitor to do.
You ought to urge your daughter towards an analysis, remedy, and psychological well being teaching in order that she will reveal her struggles, be taught coping methods, and maybe think about walking away from actions which burden her probably the most.
Dear Amy: My 13-year-old daughter, “Annie,” did a cat sitting job for a neighbor and pal of ours, ending on the primary of the month.
Annie despatched a textual content to the cat’s proprietor on the final day, saying thanks for letting her pet sit and that she loved it. We by no means heard something again.
Five days later, I despatched a textual content saying thanks for letting Annie pet sit, and asking politely when she would receives a commission.
Cat Owner mentioned, “I’ll pay you on the 10th as I prefer to pay in cash and give feedback in person, is that OK? Or I could do Venmo, but only if you need that.” I agreed to fee on the tenth.
On the tenth Cat Owner texted saying, “I am too exhausted and have no cash so can’t do payment today. Can we do another day? Or if you urgently need money, I can do Venmo but prefer not to.”
I responded, “Sure, we can do another day. Which day is good?” There was no response to this.
On the 14th I texted, “Hey, Cat owner, just checking in on that payment for Annie? Can we just do the Venmo? I’ll send my details now.”
The subsequent morning, she responded with a nasty gram about how she doesn’t want me reminding her, she could be very busy with houseguests, she doesn’t have time but to go to the financial institution, she all the time pays her payments, she has presents for us, she has by no means used Venmo however now needed to create an account, and all as a result of I have to urgently want money and so forth. It went on and on.
I didn’t reply.
She did Venmo the money after that.
Of course, from now I’ll prepare fee particulars first. She is a neighbor, so I didn’t assume we’d have these issues.
I’m unsure if I ought to deal with this in particular person after I run into her?
Did I do one thing incorrect right here? How lengthy does a teenage pet sitter often wait to receives a commission?
– Frustrated Mamabear
Dear Frustrated: You’ve finished nothing incorrect. A pet sitter – like a toddler sitter – needs to be paid promptly proper on the finish of the gig, except there’s one other association.
You can keep away from this sooner or later by being extraordinarily clear: “Annie charges $10/day. You can give her a check or cash on the last day or (because of her age) Venmo me on the last day and I’ll make sure she receives your payment.”
Reliable pet sitters are value their weight in Friskies. Your neighbor has misplaced what seems like may have been a superb and dependable cat sitter. There isn’t any must proceed to comply with up together with her (in particular person or in any other case), as a result of the matter is now settled.
Dear Amy: Regarding “On Time,” whose pal was all the time late, a easy approach to cope with somebody who’s constantly late is to specify the assembly time an hour sooner than it really is.
Bonus, in the event that they arrive earlier than you, you’ll be able to word, “Wow, that’s a switch! You waiting for me!”
– Faithful Reader
Dear Reader: Many readers supplied this resolution.
(You can electronic mail Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or ship a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You may also comply with her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
