Every week, Dear Prudence responses extra concerns from readers, simply for Slate Plus members. Submit concerns here. (It’s confidential!)
Dear Prudence,
I cat-sit for my friend, “Charlie.” Charlie’s family are hoarders, and I see a lot of (not brand-new) indication in Charlie—mess making it challenging to walk around and most disgustingly, not cleaning up at all when his cats spend hairballs, which worries me about other tidiness concerns I’m not seeing or smelling. Charlie does see a psych, however I’m uncertain if this problem is/has ever been gone over.
I don’t mind tidying up messes made throughout my time cat-sitting, however I’m ill of walking into such a dirty environment, and I’ve come to the point of preventing all friendly sees to his location. I don’t wish to cat-sit any longer, however Charlie’s gonna press to understand why.
Please help me determine how to interact all this to him.
—Cat’s Got My Tongue
Dear Cat’s Got My Tongue,
I certainly don’t believe you’re going to face Charlie into reversing his evident development towards ending up being a hoarder. But you likewise shouldn’t need to go over there and browse around dirt. This is among those cases where your reaction is truly going to depend upon your character. If it feels ideal to you to state “Hey pal, you know I’ve always been happy to cat-sit but the trail of hairballs is just too much for me, I’m gonna have to pass from now on. You know I get a little squeamish about that stuff, so let’s have our hangouts outdoors too” that would be fantastic. But I understand that sort of fight can feel definitely difficult. So the completely appropriate option is a white lie: Say you might have established a bit of a cat allergic reaction and are going to stay away from his location up until you figure it out.
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