Arsenal boss Mikel Arteta has decided to rename the dog he brought to the club’s Colney training ground as ‘Bottler’.
The Spaniard hoped the chocolate Labrador, he initially named ‘Win’, would improve morale amongst deflated players and staff following Arsenal’s title collapse.
However, after his side’s defeat 1-0 against Nottingham Forest which handed Manchester City their third consecutive Premier League title, the 41-year-old chose a different name for the dog.
‘Bottler is a much more appropriate name’, Arteta told Paddy Power News while petting the animal.
‘Arsenal naming a dog ‘Win’ is a bit like Tottenham naming a dog ‘Trophy’ or Manchester City naming a dog ‘FFP’.
‘I haven’t taught the dog many tricks, although much like our team he does roll over’.
‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to talk Bottler for a walk’, said the former Everton midfielder while searching in vain for the dog’s leash.
‘Looks like that’s another lead we’ve thrown away’, he sighed.
A general view is pictured of the Emirates Stadium in London on March 13, 2020. – The English Premier League suspended all fixtures until April 4 on Friday after Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta and Chelsea winger Callum Hudson-Odoi tested positive for coronavirus. (Photo by Isabel Infantes / AFP) (Photo by ISABEL INFANTES/AFP via Getty Images)
Meanwhile, the dog’s agent announced his client has slapped in a transfer request and would like to return to the pound where Arteta found him.
The wantaway Labrador cited its dislike of Arsenal football club and a fear of Gunnersauras as the main reasons for wanting to leave.
‘I’m more of a Terriers fan myself’, Bottler told Paddy Power News.
‘Besides, it’s not safe here for a dog with that bloody dinosaur on the loose’.
‘I watched Jurassic Park with my previous owners. I know what they’re capable of’.
Upon hearing that Bottler wished to return to the pound, Arteta immediately drew up a shortlist of possible replacements.
‘I wonder what Bouncer from Neighbours is up to these days? Or Wellard from Eastenders?’
‘I’ll ring Pep and see if any ex-Man City dogs would like to join us?’, he pondered.
*Paddy Power’s football coverage is 100% fake news. Honest.
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